Are we in a gay sports bar?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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