I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
