there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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