NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
