Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize