1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
