You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
