my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
