Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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