I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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