He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
