Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm really busy with my period
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