no, he came in my armpit
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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