I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
we're so committed to being not committed
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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