I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
