I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
