Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just had sex bonerless
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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