i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
