He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
