i need an iv and a liver transplant
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
