Small penises have feelings too.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
