It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
