I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
