her vagine was all disorganized.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
