How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You dont lie about slip and slides
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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