Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
