It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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