Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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