I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
