The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
