11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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