Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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