Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
