Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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