he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
