If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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