I'm lost and stupid without you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Can I color on your dick again?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Randomize
