Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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