You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
