so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
