I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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