he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
