i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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