his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
false alarm, still single
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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