does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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