I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
