Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
