I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
