It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
