Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
