Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
