I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
