I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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