I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
