i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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