It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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