The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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