worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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