McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
