Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize