Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
