and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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