O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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