well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
